the stupidity that makes us human

We were having dinner tonight when Jane commented on the stupidity of moths who intentionally fly into fires, only to burn themselves to death. It's instinct says P. And then I said, "Well, human beings are stupid too. Even though we know that doing certain things will hurt us, we do them anyway." And it's true. 

In some ways, risk-taking reflects just this. We take risks when we do certain things, knowing the consequences we have to bear should we fail. Yet, the rewards can be so tempting that we're willing to expose ourselves to such vulnerability. No venture no gain; no gain without pain, right? 

Let's explore another example. Logically speaking, we should be nice to the people who are nice to us, right? But don't you find yourselves taking the people who are nice to you for granted, and instead, focusing your energy pleasing those who might not treat you even half as well. Why? It may be due to personal biased feelings (of like, love, passion...whatever), or due to the closet sadomasochism that everyone has inside us. What's unattainable just seems more precious. 

The ironic truth however, is this: It's not what you do, it's what you mean to the person. If it's not the right one, it doesn't matter what you do, it'll still be irritate and drive the recipient further away. 

Should we then just try to be not so stupid, and weigh all factors before deciding what to do in everything? In an ideal world, absolutely. 

But we're humans. And just as history always repeats itself, we'll err again and again; doing a lot of things driven by a desire just to do it. (Just because).

So then just accept it, and try not to blame ourselves too much for our stupidity.  

  

the quest for happiness

There's a somewhat insightful article on the Sunday Times today about the irony of trying too hard to be happy. According to the writer, there are some people who are constantly ecstatic; putting on perpetually happy faces, even when deep down inside, they are actually masking their own unhappiness or dissatisfaction.

Come to think of it, it's not an entirely bad thing to do just that. Why should one focus on all the unpleasant things in life which are depressing? Might as well focus on the happy things that may bring a smile to your face. Unless of course, you end up lying to yourself about how you really feel. Masking your own unhappiness for others is one thing, but it's an entirely different tragedy should you end up believing your own lies, truly believing that you're happy. When deep down inside, you might be burying a time bomb that's just waiting to explode. 

The writer goes on to talk about how happiness is a fleeting emotion, and the real journey should be focused instead on finding "joy" in one's life. Easier said than done. While the dictionary definition of "joy" might be confined to "feelings of great happiness", I believe the meaning encompasses the need to feel at peace. Be it with yourself or your situation. When one feels no peace, one cannot experience joy. Now this is not an easy thing to attain. Firstly, this requires a certain degree of control over your external environment. That is, no one, or nothing, should upset the comfortable environment that you need to feel at peace. Secondly, you need to control your emotions such that there is close to perfect satisfaction you feel about your situation - be it financial, physical, spiritual or emotional. Of course it's impossible to be perfectly satisfied. If one were perfectly satisfied, what are we living for? The journey will be for nothing. 

Point is, finding joy is as difficult as finding true happiness. 

But we shouldn't give up on that. For this is what gives us hope. 

An old friend once criticised me by saying that by constantly immersing myself in worldly things and activities - working long hours, shopping etc, I fail to be introspective about my life. Now I am glad to accept constructive criticisms. But this is an absolutely fleeting, judgmental, and wildly self-righteous comment. Must we really distant ourselves from these so-called worldly activities (and enter a state of meditation?) or maybe objective indifference, to be able to introspectively examine our own lives? Not necessarily so.

We keep ourselves busy not to numb ourselves from the worldly pains or to avoid facing certain issues we might be reluctant to face. Rather, it's to give us something concrete and definite to focus on while we work our way through the more indefinite and thus difficult issues in life. Like our happiness for instance. 

After all, it takes a long time to find the answers we're searching for. And most of the time, these are not definite answers but merely gradual revelations that we'll discover as we walk along. 

So in the quest of finding our "true happiness" or dare I say, UTOPIA, all we can do is live our lives the best way(s) we know how. Doing things we need or want to do, and hope each day gets closer and closer to the 100% we wish to feel.