Pic of the Month

Pic of the Month

Saturday, 30 June 2007

to strip or not to strip...that is the burning question

I've been thinking of getting a Brazillian wax for the longest time, and I mean THE LONGEST time. But up till now, I have yet to get my ass down to doing it. Two months ago I received a voucher for a free wax and was thrilled, thinking that this would motivate me to finally getting down to business with this whole Brazillian wax thing. But no...I waited and lingered, till it was way past the voucher's expiry date, when I simply shrugged my shoulders and dismiss the whole idea ALL OVER AGAIN. I am such a wuss.

You see, I am a vainpot when it comes to personal grooming and such. I train hard and continuously strive to achieve my ideal physique; brave the hazardous UV rays in order to attain that "glowing tan"; and spend more than enough time prior to stepping out of the house each day to make sure I look more than just decent. And these are just the publicly noticeable areas.

While most people tend to do the whole "sweep all the garbage under the bed" thing, meaning to say they only focus on the noticeable spots, I tend to be slightly more anal-retentive about it all and try to make sure that even the unseen bits remain nicely groomed and maintained. They are like expensive lawns you know. And shaving is a cheap shortcut that doesn't do it justice.

I've heard good things about the wax in terms of the post-waxing aesthetic quality. But I'm also aware that it hurts like f***, and man, even though I have a high pain threshold, I'm hesitant to put myself under the knife like that. Yes I know, no pain no gain. But oh man oh man, do I really want to pay someone to hurt me...? I'm no sadomasochist!

Now it's less than 2 months away from my dance competition and in the course of preparing myself for the comp, both in terms of my dance and physical training, I need to start thinking of getting my body well and ready for the nice little costumes that will give me 25% of my marks for the competition. Perfect body, perfect tan, and of course, nice smooth skin all over. Brazil is beckoning...

Friday, 29 June 2007

my baby never finishes his drinks

There are two nearly empty Ribena packet drinks on my desk, courtesy of mr. i'm-thirsty-baby-please-give-me-a-drink, who never, I emphasize NEVER finishes his drinks. This and along with other little traits such as: 1. handing me his loose change to keep because "guys don't have a place to put coins in our wallets, baby!"; 2. his tendency to wear the same shirt over and over again "because it's my favourite shirt!" despite having a closetful of other shirts; 3. referring to everything that's awesome as "good shit"- the "shit" may refer to a drink/food/show/song/movie/car/shoes...please delete as required. That makes the imperfect person he is, whom I love.



The good shit still waiting to be finished.

Friday, 15 June 2007

tgif - last day at the company

I'm sitting here at the cubicle in the office, looking like I'm the usual busy bee I usually am. Instead, here I am, filling in the last moments of obligation doing something I should really be doing at my own free time. But hey, it's my last day at the company, everyone's giving me a break.

Everyone seems to be asking me how I am feeling. Are they expecting me to cry upon leaving or something? I mean, I'm not exactly jumping up and down in ecstasy. But I am glad to be moving on to something that I really prefer to do. Something that's more suited to what I'm looking for in life, while still fulfilling my family obligations, like a good daughter should.

I'm dressed in white from head to toe today, complete with a white straw bag and white sandals - Michael Kors no less. Suz said that it reminded her of a movie where a couple on the fringe of breaking up deliberately dressed in white to signify/symbolise their parting. So am I doing the same??? I guess you could say that...if you were the dramatic sort and believe in symbolism and all that. (I thought I've left all these behind when I graduated top literature student some years back!)

It's almost lunch time, and in less than five hours I'll be leaving the company as someone who's no longer a staff. Surrendering my pass and my car decal too! Damn why can't I at least keep the photo. It's going to be a new beginning. Some people envy my position, while others are simply curious to see how my life will pan out. Not to worry, I'll give the envious ones some real things to be envious about and the curious cats nothing to gossip on.

Life, here I come. Prepared, undaunted, and full of joyful energy.

Tuesday, 5 June 2007

...just because i love you...there's no why

Vulnerable seems to be my middle name today when I told himself point-blank, that I think (and I truly believe this) that when you love someone, whatever you do for him is propelled internally. You're nice to him just because you love him; there's no other reason or hidden agenda. And for me, there's no yardstick or 'measuring cup' that I use to decide whether I love him more or he loves me more; by measuring how much I do for him or compromise for him vis-a-vis the extent he does things for me or to oblige me. In fact, obligation should not exist in our dictionaries. Nothing should count as obligation. If it does, then perhaps one shouldn't do it. After all, when it becomes an obligation, then it's no longer enjoyable, and the reward ain't so great. You won't feel satisfied or enjoy the rush of warm feeling you have because you've made someone you love happy. It becomes just another...chore. And I don't want that. I told himself that no matter what I do for him, I will not expect him to feel obligated to give me just as much. It's all up to him, how much he wants to give, and how much he wants to feel for me. Although I sort of feel as if I've just shot myself in the foot once these words left my mouth, I see no reason to take them back or to regret what I've said. Because truly, that's what I want out of love, out of the ideal relationship - that I can find someone whom I love, and who loves me just because he does, and not because he's touched or feel obligated by how much I love him. Of course the interaction between the couple matters a lot. But essentially, when you love someone, there's no question as to how much you'll care about him, and the extent to which you will do things just to make him feel comfortable, secure, and undoubtedly very loved. I don't think I am necessarily apparent in conveying my feelings to someone. But there' s a huge and I mean HUGE difference in the way I treat people I couldn't really be bothered with versus those I care about. And much more so for my man, whom to me should be my best friend, my better half, and my shoulder to cry on. No pressure there. And of course, he should be one of the very few reasons I would sacrifice my sleep for and drive halfway across the city to see should he need me there with him at 4AM. Regardless of how I feel, I'll be there. Just because there's love I feel inside when I think of him, and there's no other reason why. This is how I feel.

seberapa pantas - for you

How apt are the lyrics...
__________________________________________________
SEBERAPA PANTAS - Sheila on 7

Seberapa pantaskah kau untuk ku tunggu,
Cukup indahkah dirimu untuk selalu ku nantikan
Mampukan kau hadir dalam setiap mimpi burukku
Mampukah kita bertahan di saat kita jauh..

Seberapa hebat kau 'tuk ku banggakan,
Cukup tangguhkah dirimu untuk selalu ku andalkan, ohhh...
Mampukan kau bertahan dengan hidupku yang malang, ohh..
Sanggupkah kau menyakinkan di saat aku bimbang..

CHORUS:
Celakanya...
Hanya kaulah yang benar-benar aku tunggu,
Hanya kaulah yang benar-benar memahamiku,
Kau pergi dan hilang ke mana pun kau suka

Celakanya...
Hanya kaulah yang pantas untuk kubanggakan,
Hanya kaulah yang sanggup untuk aku andalkan,
Di antara pedih aku slalu menantimu..

Seberapa hebat kau 'tuk kubanggakan,
Cukup tangguhkah dirimu untuk selalu ku andalkan..ohh...
Mampukah kau bertahan dengan hidup ku yang malang oh...
Sanggupkah kau menyakinkan di saat aku bimbang..

BRIDGE:
Mungkin kini kau t'lah menghilang tanpa jejak,
Mengubur semua indah kenangan,
Tapi aku slalu menunggumu di sini,
Bila saja kau berubah pikiran ohhh...heyyy..heyy

__________________________________________________________

semoga memang hanya engkau yang dapat terus ku andalkan dan pertahankan.