...just because i love you...there's no why

Vulnerable seems to be my middle name today when I told himself point-blank, that I think (and I truly believe this) that when you love someone, whatever you do for him is propelled internally. You're nice to him just because you love him; there's no other reason or hidden agenda. And for me, there's no yardstick or 'measuring cup' that I use to decide whether I love him more or he loves me more; by measuring how much I do for him or compromise for him vis-a-vis the extent he does things for me or to oblige me. In fact, obligation should not exist in our dictionaries. Nothing should count as obligation. If it does, then perhaps one shouldn't do it. After all, when it becomes an obligation, then it's no longer enjoyable, and the reward ain't so great. You won't feel satisfied or enjoy the rush of warm feeling you have because you've made someone you love happy. It becomes just another...chore. And I don't want that. I told himself that no matter what I do for him, I will not expect him to feel obligated to give me just as much. It's all up to him, how much he wants to give, and how much he wants to feel for me. Although I sort of feel as if I've just shot myself in the foot once these words left my mouth, I see no reason to take them back or to regret what I've said. Because truly, that's what I want out of love, out of the ideal relationship - that I can find someone whom I love, and who loves me just because he does, and not because he's touched or feel obligated by how much I love him. Of course the interaction between the couple matters a lot. But essentially, when you love someone, there's no question as to how much you'll care about him, and the extent to which you will do things just to make him feel comfortable, secure, and undoubtedly very loved. I don't think I am necessarily apparent in conveying my feelings to someone. But there' s a huge and I mean HUGE difference in the way I treat people I couldn't really be bothered with versus those I care about. And much more so for my man, whom to me should be my best friend, my better half, and my shoulder to cry on. No pressure there. And of course, he should be one of the very few reasons I would sacrifice my sleep for and drive halfway across the city to see should he need me there with him at 4AM. Regardless of how I feel, I'll be there. Just because there's love I feel inside when I think of him, and there's no other reason why. This is how I feel.