what is happiness?

i'm not someone who jumps at the chance of sharing my happiness in writing. as of how many good songs tend to be emotional and sentimental, peppered with a little bit of pain, i tend to write when i'm in a pensive mood.

well lately i've been feeling a little pensive, maybe more than a little pensive. it's not that i'm unhappy. but there's just a nagging dissatisfaction deep within me that's hard to pinpoint or explain. there's a constant question of happiness and what it means, to me, and to other people. when i asked my mom how she would define happiness and meaning of life, she deems it to be the joy and satisfaction of making the people she loves happy. now that's a truly selfless thought and feeling, and i guess it's a feeling that only a parent can truly feel. for only parents can grant such unconditional love that's above and beyond the natural self-gratifying, self-centered instinct that man and beasts are equipped with.

and in this respect, i guess i can empathise with her only to a certain extent. it's true that the happiness of my loved ones makes me happy. but a big part of me is seeking happiness that's prevalent to myself, independent of what my loved ones might be feeling. so i started questioning myself on what exactly is making me less than happy? and loneliness jumps out as the most significant factor attributing to the dissatisfaction i am feeling.

yet it's not because i have no friends nor people i can connect with. in fact, i am luckier than most to have family, some friends, and a better half i can be emotionally dependent on. but there's just something else that i can't explain attributing to this loneliness. it could be restlessness, boredom, or whatever and however experts can define it...i am clueless.

so i googled, "what is happiness" and a website on self-creation explains happiness in this manner:

Happiness is what you feel when you're NOT feeling....

self doubt
depressed
hateful
fearful
worried
unsatisfied
bored
grief
shame
guilt
discontent
anxious
annoyed
angry
irritated
stressed
frustrated
upset
down
sad
envious
or
jealous.

now that's quite a few emotions one has to dispose of to achieve true happiness. as always, easier said than done.

so what am i missing?