memory lane 1 - the ugly rabbits

My mom and I were grocery shopping at the supermarket tonight. I got myself some shampoo and other things I need and was wandering along the cake and pastries aisles, cringing at the sugary and damp looking cakes when I saw something that made me scream in joy - literally. 

MY CHILDHOOD TWIN RABBITS!!!

Now don't get me wrong. These things are not exceptionally tasty. Neither are they cute enough as collectibles (aside from the fact that they'll rot in three days). But these rice cake rabbits are part of my memories as a child growing up in the small town of Pekanbaru. 

As a toddler, I remember constantly begging my mom to get me these whenever we go to the market. Even when I started my primary school education, I was still pretty hooked to these. Very much the same way I was hooked to the popular comic BOBO (the blue rabbit). 

So back in the 80s, (OMG I AM THAT OLD), my mom would ALWAYS come back with these for me whenever she happens to see them around. And I would look like this: 

 

  

Okay, except 20 or so years younger.

Anyway, the point is: I was excited to find something that was so close to my heart as a child. It's like a forty year old discovering a replica of one of his beloved old toy trains in an antique toy shop. Except this is food. 

But hey, for someone whose childhood was closely associated with the love of food in more ways than one, this isn't so strange is it? 

So I put the rabbits in my shopping basket and went on my way, knowing full well that the rabbits will simply end up uneaten and rotten in three days. 

jessie

sometimes i also long for a trailer by the sea.

From a phone booth in Vegas, Jessie calls at 5 a.m.

to tell me how she's tired of all of them.

She says, "Baby, I been thinking 'bout a trailer by the sea.

We could go to Mexico...you, the cat, and me.

We'll drink tequila and look for sea shells.

Now, doesn't that sound sweet?"

Oh, Jessie, you always do this every time I get back on my feet.

Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gonna be.

By now I should know better, your dreams are never free.

But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea;

Jessie you can always sell any dream to me.

Oh, Jessie, you can always sell any dream to me.

She asks me how the cat's been, I say, "Moses he's just fine

but he used to think about you all the time.

We finally took you pictures down off the wall.

Oh, Jessie, how do you always seem to know just when to call?"

She says, "Get your stuff together. Bring Mose and drive real fast."

And I listen to her promise, "I swear to God this time it's gonna last."

Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gonna be

By now I should know better, your dreams are never free.

But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea;

Jessie you can always sell any dream to me.

Oh, Jessie, you can always sell any dream to me.

I'll love you in the sunshine, lay you down in the warm white sand.

And who know, maybe this time things'll turn out just the way you planned.

Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gonna be.

By now I should know better, your dreams are never free.

But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea

Jessie you can always sell any dream to me.

Oh, Jessie, you can always sell any dream to me.

an irrepressible annoyance

I went back to PKU this morning on AirAsia, carrying my leftover fatigue with me. While in the boarding lounge, I was already slightly annoyed by the group of noisy MEN sitting around me (the flight was fairly full), talking in loud voices. I am guessing they are imported "foreign workers" in PKU. Anyway, that was ignored and I went about my own business, all the way from boarding till I arrived in PKU. Anyway, I wasn't in my best mood and I guess when I'm not smiling I do look a little unapproachable, but that's besides the point. So then there I was, handing my passport over to the relevant "authority" for that lousy stamp. And the bugger started to ask me lots of questions. I sensed trouble. 

And when I told him I hadn't printed out my return ticket that I've bought online, he TOLD me to go into the office. So I retorted, "why do I have to go to the office?" and he practically screamed at me, trying to intimidate me, saying, " AM I IN CHARGE OR ARE YOU IN CHARGE?!!!" What a f-ing asshole. So I went into the office where the PIC was and asked to make a call, and called my mom. She came in, did the whole expected routine of everyone knows what. Anyway, while it wasn't a big deal, the blardy bastard had the nerve to say that I was rude and ROUGH in his words, that I shouted at him even though he asked me nicely. Nicely my ass. 

The matter was settled pretty easily the usual way but by then I was BLOODY FURIOUS. The idiot completely changed his tone and told my mom to tell me that he wasn't trying to throw a temper at me and that I should not be mad at him. And I WAS MADE TO SHAKE THAT IDIOT'S HAND. That was literally painful.

My mom couldn't understand what the big deal was but when I ranted off to my best friend, she completely got me and empathised with my almost indecently pleasurable wish for the bugger to burn. And she said,

"People like us can't stand assholes like these. We can't accept the way things are, and we want them to change. We are moralist. That's our problem."

She got me thinking. Are we really moralists? Or are we simply too arrogant and self righteous to some point, so much that we refuse to bow down to supposed authority should they in our opinion, insists on being unreasonably and disgustingly unjustified? Why would we rather bang our heads against the brick wall consisting of the empty heads this system is upheld by, rather than maneuvering around it to eventual achieve our final aim? 

For me I think it comes back to a very simple and yet personal thing, that is, the matter of PRINCIPLE. I have no problem with decidedly greedy individuals who would use their power to achieve personal monetary gain AS LONG AS THEY DO IT OPENLY. Make your intentions clear and I'll go with it. But don't try to falsely maintain an appearance of nobility; pretending to uphold you sworn-in work ethics and principles, when in the end, your motive is crystal clear. And the worst of all, don't bloody pin the blame on the very person you were trying to get the dough out of in the first place. Now that's simply DESPICABLE. For that makes the person not only greedy, but also hypocritical, underhanded, despicable, and most of all, a big big coward. 

I've had enough experience in this matter to comment on such, and such an individual is the one I despise most. One who first interrogates you, then accuses you of some invisible crime worthy of detention, then detains you, tries to intimidate you, then makes it sound like it's your own doing that leads you to that situation, which basically means he's maligning you, then blackmails you, then when you relent, turns back with a smile, shakes your hand, THANK you and pretend you're their new best friend. 

Now that's a whole new level of DISGUST I have for individuals as such. 

Can you blame me for my ranting?

i will follow you into the dark

Speaking of morbid. Check out this song that truly classifies as one of the most romantic songs ever written.

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark"

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

Thanks to Arthur for burning me the CD and to azlyrics for the above lyrics.

brief notes for moving to multiply

I was getting kind of annoyed at the difficulty of managing my blog posts on the previous site and was sharing my annoyance with my little sister when she suggested that I move to the site she's using. Apparently it was a good choice, especially since I managed to export all my previous entries. Yay!

Typical of my style, I tend to try to change something whenever I break away from my pattern. And so to mark this move, I shall begin to write like a normal human being again, with capital letters and proper paragraphing. But do expect that I will lapse into my stream of consciousness self from time to time.

So little sister told me that a lot of my posts are morbid. LOL. Morbid??? More like melancholic or emotional I think. In consideration that she actually took the time to read close to a hundred posts over the years, I shall try to put in more light hearted entries *fingers crossed*. But again, this is all about freedom of expression and however I feel at that point in time. Everything goes; no censorship is required.

Anyway, to go to a completely different topic. I feel pretty today. Go On, LAUGH. Indeed, I had the sudden urge to sing like Adam Sandler in ANGER MANAGEMENT,

I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and gayyyyyyy

(okay that's overdoing it more than just a little bit)

Anyhoooo, I feel pretty because I was wearing my new skinny t-shirt. It's literally a t-shirt that makes me look incredibly skinny. wooohooo! See photo below:



And then side view:


Yep, so I felt fantastic! I know, what's this obsession about skinniness right? Hello, we are living in Singapore - the land of skinny girls. I'd hate to see myself as a superficial person, but oh well, skinny is good in my book. Not TWIGGY skinny, not yet. Just lean skinny.

So yes, this t-shirt officially goes to the FEEL GOOD pile of clothes in my closet.

Speaking of closet and clothing for that matter, I sauntered into a clothing store this evening right after a half-hearted gym class, and found some of my favourite linen clothing on a HUGE SALE! Of course, finding a size that fits was a major challenge. Still, I managed to sieve the selection to a few casual pieces I can wear both for work and pleasure. (My current style is chic nonchalance) I'll post a few photos when I have the chance.


Would write more but I swear my eyes are constantly tearing due to an allergy to the new eye make-up remover. GAH! Should probably rest for work later. Gonna take a day trip. :( Boo.

reminiscing competitive dancing

digging dancinglola's dancing dirt!

going through my archives and tracing my dancing history. started social dancing in late 2001, just a couple of months before leaving for vancouver. then stumbled my way to the ubc dance club in a desperate attempt to continue my passion for dancing.

found my first dance partner with whom i competed ONCE in the GALA BALL organised by UBCDC in March 2002. I gotta dig out the picture for posting.

took a couple of months' break right after that competition, and came back to singapore for holiday. returned to vancouver in august 2003, right at the end of the summer dance at robson square, and found another dance partner shortly after.

the picture below was taken at our first competition, which was the GRAND BALL organised by GB in November 2002.




GAH look at how disgusting my posture was!



more disgusting posture.


ISLAND FANTASY BALL 2003 in Victoria BC



intense right? but that was some costume faux pas!

BIG TROPHY! i think i never got to keep though :(

with my dancing pals, including callie and ethan, david and svitlana and some random others lol.




this was at GALA BALL 2004, for the pre-championship prize presentation.




...and took part in the

SALSA COMPETITION! with arthur in his wig of course

that was wild!

2005

the first comp i danced with david. FAT FAT FAT.

that was SNOWBALL 2005





then GALA BALL 2005









...and the social competitions as well






that was SALSA and WEST COAST and my ugly outfit he he he

then there was the comp in OREGON

with real LIVE band from the UK!!!

....in my floral costume!

2006

was a break year when i came back to southeast asia, lost a couple of pounds, then gained more than a couple of pounds, then contracted dengue fever, then lost another few pounds, and got a new job, gained couple pounds...and so on.

anyway, got a new partner in late 2006 with whom i danced ONE comp with in March 2007 (what's with me and one-comp partners?!)




that was a disaster buster

2007-2008

the better years

LION CITY 2007






JAPAN COMP @

ASAKUSA NOV 2007

i love my white costume!

ASIA PACIFIC COMP March 2008 in HONG KONG

sigh. that's the dress i got from tatsiana. one of my favourites and i've only worn it ONCE!

i need to compete again soon.

anyway, till the next comp, that's it for now.

olympics musings part one

as part of my sunday tv-gorging ritual, i watched a couple of beijing olympics events on the olympic channels. one that struck me most was the women's quadruple sculls event. it was a strong line up, with the hot favourite being the british team who took the lead all the way, with china, france, and germany following closely behind. the british looked set to take the gold, up till the last 750 meter when the chinese team just put in every strength in an attempt to catch up and surpass the lead. it was way intense. and they made it! took over the british team and emerged champion. it was truly an emotional moment. the women laughed and cried and laughed and cried some more. it was pretty amazing.

another event that stuck in my mind was the men's 8-men rowing event. it was a showdown between the american and the canadian team, with the usa being the former olympic gold medalist and the latter being the world champion in the same event. the canadians proved to be the resilient athletes they are, maintaining a substantial lead throughout and eventually emerging the event's champion. YAY CANADA!

caught some moments of the eventful singapore vs china table tennis match on the replay. 'twas okay but i guess it isn't as exciting when you already know the outcome.

anyway, end of musings for now. signing out.

back in the groove

after the lesson on thursday i told myself that i had to start dancing seriously again. it's not just a form of exercise or an activity i do. it's my passion, something that is a large of who i am. as a friend once said, "your eyes light up when you talk about dancing." so i went back to the studio who might very well be my second home (during the times when i was drifting and have yet to rediscover my workaholic self). and everyone seems to be pretty excited to see me. and by everyone i refer to those dancing juniors with whom i am relatively close. and they were pretty eager to get my opinion on their dancing. of course i would NEVER under any circumstances volunteer my opinions or suggestions due to political reasons. don't wanna step on any toes you know. but since they asked, i would render them my true opinions, and i EMPHASISE - just my opinions. don't want to be quoted for teaching them anything.

anyway, the point was - I REALLY REALLY miss dancing. and most of all, COMPETING. i'm not a mere social dancer, and i don't really want to be. unless i am too old to do all my spins and twists and turns...then i'll consider being just a social dancer. but even then, i might very well consider taking part in senior latin comps. hey who knows right?

and seeing them working so hard in preparation for the competition next week really brings back memories on my own training. the pain, the tiredness, the pukey feeling you get after rounds and rounds of mock comp...the excitement on getting a new costume, the make up and tanning and all the preparation on the very day of the competition - ah! who needs aphrodisiac?

so i did my rumba walks, my spins, my spirals, my turns and my checks. and i feel i've improved, despite having stopped dancing for a while now. i feel way more grounded, more stable. and definitely more mature. i am more comfortable with who i am as a dancer, and what i want to project. i am okay with relaxing my upper body while concentrating on my footwork. i am not too worried about how people might view me and my dancing. i simply feel fabulous. a little bit of egotism might make an awesome dancer eh.

now where would i get a dance partner??? haunting question. when oh when can i compete again?