random in sibu

Yet another night in Sibu. 
It's alright really, just a short trip. And the work's good, as usual. Getting a lot of things done, completing outstanding stuff. All those good things associated with Operation and Project management. But nights are always a tad harder to get by. Lucky for me, I managed to hijack the free internet connection with my MAC. I LOVE MY MAC!!! Since it's virtually impossible to connect using my teeny weeny netbook. So at least I can rant and whine on my blog, stalk my friends' fb pages, and those other wonderful stuff that are made possible by the internet. 


I'm restless again. 


They took me to a new cafe for dinner tonight. CAFE O CAFE is the name. It's a nice place! I don't mind just sitting there to stone for a couple of hours. The food's pretty decent, the milk tea is rich and not too sweet, the place is cooling and not smoky, and best of all, it plays 80s and 90s ROCK BALLAD! How awesome is that? I was really pleased. Had some fried beehoon, hot honey lemon and hot milk tea, feeling totally rejuvenated. Was pretty lethargic the whole day and kept falling asleep after a few pages of MR PIP that I've been trying to finish. So I felt a lot better after that dinner. I will definitely go back there again. 


Stalked one of my acquaintances' FB photo albums and saw some great pics taken during the last comp that I avoided. Made me miss dancing again :( Although I'm still training, honestly, it's totally not the same. I miss the focus, the direction, the drive, the competition, the thirst to improve, the hunger to do better each time, the make up, the costumes, the training, the hours spent honing that one crazy move, the quarrels with dance partner, the frustrations, the indescribable sense of pride and achievement after nailing that difficult routine, and most of all, the rush of adrenaline once we hit the floor...thinking of nothing but dancing strictly from the heart. Miss it. Miss it a lot. Nothing's quite the same. 

Gonna randomly end the post with one of my favourite songs: SUARA KUBERHARAP

di sini aku masih sendiri

merenungi hari-hari sepi

aku tanpamu, masih tanpamu

bila esok hari datang lagi

ku coba hadapi semua ini

meski tanpamu oooh meski tanpamu

bila aku dapat bintang yang berpijar

mentari yang tenang bersamaku disini

ku dapat tertawa menangis merenung

di tempat ini aku bertahan

suara dengarkanlah aku

apa kabarnya pujaan hatiku

aku di sini menunggunya

masih berharap di dalam hatinya

suara dengarkanlah aku

apakah aku slalu dihatinya

aku di sini menunggunya

masih berharap di dalam hatinya

kalau ku masih tetap disini

ku lewati semua yang terjadi

aku menunggumu, aku menunggu

suara dengarkanlah aku

apa kabarnya pujaan hatiku

aku di sini menunggunya

masih berharap di dalam hatinya

suara dengarkanlah aku

apakah aku ada dihatinya

aku di sini menunggunya

masih berharap di dalam hatinya

Awesome song.

hocus focus

I am entirely convinced that I am more comfortable with keeping a small group of close friends and selected individuals, rather than keep up with an extensive social circle. Without any intention to offend any friends of mine, frankly, I get a bit disoriented when I get involved in way too many social activities. It's not that I don't try. Precisely because I know that I'm the type who usually put all my eggs in very few baskets, that starting this year, I've been expanding my social circle and attending more social activities, instead of just cooping myself in my little comfort zone of work, dance, run, and solitude. Which has been good really. I've been having a lot of fun. But despite being surrounded by way more people, it still doesn't change the usual feeling I have of being alone. Now that sounded a little emo there. But that wasn't the intention. While I do have great friends who have stood by me through difficult times, there's still something missing. For lack of a better description, I suppose that missing element is what we'd like to term a soulmate. Though really, how do we know when someone is really our soulmate? Out of so many people in the world with such varying personalities and preferences, I'd be so lucky to find someone I can get along for an extended period of time with. And I don't mean just getting along in terms of having fun, just during the good times. But also getting along in the manner that both can totally just be ourselves with no air of self consciousness or too much restrain, as we both know that no judgement will be made on each other. Not necessarily a total understanding cos that'd be idealistic; nor would we be twins cos that would just be somewhat narcissistic and...well, freaky. But there would be an acceptance, of the fact that we're different, and yet complementary. See? It's hard enough looking for someone to really get along with, how would we ever find a soulmate? Or maybe this whole soulmate business is just a pretty way of packaging what I've just described above?

focus girl, focus.

I am exceptionally bored and moody tonight. I'm not quite sure why. I've just been so bloody restless; feeling like I've got way too much energy and not enough means to channel it to. I think I've been doing too much but not intensively enough. It's grazing - something I'm totally not used to. I've always been a pretty focused person. I don't get myself involved in too many things. But for those I get involved in, I get really involved in. It's in the discipline man. But now, I feel like I'm doing so many things and losing focus. Totally losing focus now. What am I gonna do?! What should I do?

Maybe I should cut down on my activities and just focus on figuring out What I really want. Or I could just spend the time on work. At least it'll be something productive.

I need to really focus.

for lack of a suitable title

I truly dislike how weekends just fly by. It's now the first ten minutes of Monday, which equates to yet another work week. Honestly, work doesn't bother me. I like to work. It's the work travel that can be a pain sometimes. It just completely breaks my momentum. And it makes me feel ungrounded somehow. Like there's a lack of stability in my life. And being a true blue Taurean, I do not like it one bit. But I suppose it's part of the deal, and I can't complain. Plus, it has been a pretty awesome week in many ways. 


Aside from Monday, I've been out every night this week. The Full Monty on Tuesday; Firehouse on Wednesday; Basketball on Thursday; Texas Hold'em on Friday; Golf on Saturday and a full training plus shopping on Sunday. Weekend starts early baby! Yet, for some reason, I still feel a little...unsettled. Why is that? 


Anyway, I am starting to ramble. 

I really like this picture. It's cute. T'was a friendly cat and one very amused baby. I looked happy don't I? 
































Night.