the dating game

the world of dating has evolved quite remarkably these days, such that it has become rather difficult to 'catch up' unless you're a regular or seasoned dater. as we get busier, more efficient, and less patient, we've come to develop a new expectation of dating - that dating has to be as efficient as everything else in our lives. meaning we try too hard to get to know someone too fast, so we can quickly gather as much information about them within the shortest period of time, after which we can quickly come to a conclusion as to whether or not this fellow is the one we're looking for in a mate. it's almost like playing a volatile stock. we invest the least time possible, while trying to gain as much (knowledge) about this stock. then once we've 'acquired' this stock, we then try to decide whether or not it's worth our while to pump in more money, or in this case, other intangibles such as time and love. while this seems like a pretty good screening strategy in our constant search for the most suitable mate, we often don't realise the important steps we're missing out in the process of dating. let's put it this way, if we decide on the person based on his qualities that we've spotted in the brief period of mutual interaction, that leaves us little room to develop unexplainable feelings for the person - the mysterious process of 'falling in love'. also, going into a relationship, expecting the person to be what we initially think of him as, is a slow but sure route to killing the relationship in the end, for this leaves no room for compromise. say the guy fails to live up to our initial expectation, will we then deem him an unsuitable candidate? for when a relationship develops out of logical analysis of the couple's compability, there's no reason for one party to condone the other for his flaws. but when you allow yourself to first develop the feelings, then analyse the compability, then there's a reason to tell yourself, "ah i can take his shit, cos i love him." i'm not advocating for the blind taking of your partner's abuse in any way. what i'm saying however, is that in an ideal situation, there should be time allocated for two people to really fall in love. and even within an established relationship, there should be many leeways for compromise and excuses. so even if either party has lost all his brownie points for one reason or another, he would be given many more by his mate, unconditionally. he shouldn't have to be subjected to the danger of being declared an ex just for failing to live up to his expectations. invest a bit more time, and a seemingly short-lived, volatile bond might prove to be a profitable long term unit trust. passion is frivilous, but real love lasts for a long time.