discovering what i need

I wish I could list out what I need in a checklist, as if making a grocery list of what I am looking for in a relationship. But I can't. Qualities are just qualities, and when the right one comes along, the supposed checklist of qualities you're looking for are rendered useless. Immediately thrown out of the window. When fate brings you a gift, the rest becomes irrelevant. I suppose the qualities you desire in a mate serves as some sort of resume that determines the kind of person you're attracted to, be it physically, intellectually, spiritually, or watnot. But in reality, this "checklist" sort of evolves as you mature emotionally, to a point that you sometimes wonder if this checklist evolves based on the qualities you've come to accept on the person you've grown to love, or because you've slowly discovered what you need from your better half.

Every relationship is like a trial and error. Yes it is nice to believe that there's someone out there who's placed on this earth just for you. And yes, the romantic in me does believe that to a certain extent. But I can't yet fathom how some people claim they will know who is "THE ONE" once they've met that person. For I think we''ll never know until the relationship is tried and tested by time and circumstances. And this means allowing yourself to be vulnerable; open to the possibilities of either having happiness that could last for a long time, or pain that could be freaking unbearable to the point you wished you haven't taken that risk to love.

You weigh all these based on what you feel you need. I say feel because the realisation of what you want from a relationship should come from your heart, not your head. Yes it is easy to be all realistic and "figure" out what you need, if you come from a logical standpoint. But love should not be entirely logical, should it? Wouldn't it be pretty sad if falling in love becomes something that can be calculated and predicted based on logic and analysis? Then it will be "making it happen", and not "just letting it happen", which is a huge huge difference.

I have stopped thinking about a checklist these days. Cos' I never seem to use it anyway. But I am more conscious and aware f what I prefer. And in attempt to sum up the indescribable, let's just bring it down to sustainability. Whatever it is, it should be sustainable. Easier said than done of course. But it's of utmost importance. The rest is just decoration.