Pic of the Month

Pic of the Month

Wednesday, 2 August 2006

breaking up is hard to do...not

posted Sunday, Feb 12, 1:05pm

I've always felt that breaking up is one of the hardest things to do. All the emotional hoo ha, the tears, the bittersweet memories...surely it takes some effort to do it and then get over it? Apparently not. Both my sisters just broke up with their respective boyfriends (now exes). And hey, they don't seem affected by it at all. And I'm not talking about putting on a strong front or anything like that. I mean really unaffected, indifferent, careless attitude. Well, considering they are the ones who initiated the separations, I guess it's sort of understandable. But in retrospect, I was the one who initiated all my previous break up, and it wasn't this easy for me. I remember a lot of going back and forth, hardening of heart, much tears, loss of weight, gain of more weight etc etc. In short, it wasn't easy. So then I wondered if this means that their relationships weren't as serious as mine were? But Gege was with her ex for 3 years!! That's longer than any of my relationships! So I don't get it. But I guess that's a good thing. It's better than mulling over the past. Then it gets me thinking about another thing. While girls have been complaining about non-committal guys, it seems to me that girls are the ones who have problems committing nowadays. What is it that we are looking for? Freedom? Is having a committal relationship equivalent to a loss of freedom? Or at least a restriction on what you can or cannot do? Or maybe the vast availability of various options lead to a short attention span that applies even to relationships? So once you are bored with one, you move on to another? Microwave relationships. In this day and age, do people still believe in one true love? Or is any relationship truly dispensable? Once upon a time, I believed in THE ONE; that there's a person out there that's truly designed by the Maker to be your other half. A couple of years later, I turned extreme and believed in the opposite - that relationships are dispensable, that there are definitely more than one suitable person for you, and external factors would decide who you'd eventually end up with. But now, I think I am somewhere in the middle. The romantic person deep down inside me would like to believe in THE ONE, while the realist in me would prefer to think that you can always find a person for you, even if you've lost the one you thought was the only person suitable for you. But ultimately, I believe that while it's possible to find more than one person who's suitable for you, there's going to be very few who'll be compatible with you in every way. If you're lucky, you'll meet one this lifetime. And sometimes you have to go through all the sh**, and have all the wrong relationships before you can find it. And everytime you make a wrong choice, you are a step closer to the right one. However, despite all this, should I break off a supposedly wrong relationship in the hope of getting a step closer to my ultimate right choice, it'll still be hard to do. Maybe I'm sentimental. Maybe I'm melodramatic. But each serious relationship requires such huge investments of time, effort, and feelings. And even when I look back at all my failed relationships and pat myself on the back for making the correct choices of giving them up, I still remember the dejection and despair I felt the time I knew something was over. Breaking up IS hard to do. It must be, if you have once loved.

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