self understanding

posted Sunday, Jun 11 8:12 pm

I think it's human nature to always be searching for a reason and an explanation for everything. Everything that's happened seems to be a result of a cause; an action-reaction theory. So I was beating myself up for having negative emotions; constantly asking why I was feeling that way and trying to find a scapegoat or a couple of scapegoats in fact, who are responsible for making me feel that way. Naturally I got even more upset, since the supposed reasons for making me upset all sounded incredibly lame and unconvincing, even to my own ears. So I felt confused and frustrated, since there was no way I could have let others understand how I felt, considering I couldn't even understand it myself.

But sleep helps, as it always does. With a somewhat clearer mind, I realise that there was really no need for me to feel bad about feeling bad. Doesn't make sense? Well, it's simple really. There are times when bad feelings surface for no apparent reason, reminding me that I am really just a vulnerable human. The best way to deal with it really, is to just let the emotions go and they'll eventually go away. Unless you know the underlying factors that trigger these emotions, this would be the best way to do it. Once I have accepted this, I naturally feel better.

Nothing's wrong with me. After all, as I've stated in my self-description, I can be unexpectedly melancholy. Once I get a few things done, I know I'll bounce back to normal. And the happy joy joy will return. ;)