what valentine?

posted Monday, Feb 13, 12:03pm

Happy Valentine's Day. I'm sure it's a happy day for all lovers in the world. A day dedicated to them where they can declare their undying love for each other and succumb to ridiculous marketing of V-day products like overpriced roses, soft toys, dinners costing three times their usual price...But hey, what's logic on this day right? It's the only time one has an excuse to be illogical, or giving in to the romantic mood as they deem it. Well, it's not going to mean much to me since I'm not going to celebrate it. With my soulmate far away on the other side of the world, it's not exactly easy to celebrate this day together. But it's not going to be a sad day for me. At least, I haven't started feeling the sadness if it is ever going to surge. Maybe it's because I don't feel lonely. I may be alone a lot of the time, but I don't feel lonely or misunderstood. I enjoy my solitude, so much so that it's difficult for many people to understand. Some say I am elusive, some say I'm playing games. But the truth is, I prefer meaningful solitude over meaningless socialisation. Sometimes people call this arrogance, and others calls it insecurity. Maybe there's a little bit of truth in both. But I prefer to call it laziness. I think laziness is a result of a secure relationship. To borrow a term used by someone I know too well, "once you are attached, you kind of just let it slide." Let it slide indeed. Once you are in a secure relationship and you see no trouble brewing, at least not for the short run, you simply get a little lazy to put in effort in cultivating another close relationship, even starting from something as innocent as a friendship. That's why sometimes single friends complain about their dating friends disappearing from their lives. Once you are in a mutually exclusive relationship, you just ease away from your relationships with other people. And you'll be less likely to cultivate new relationships. After all, 1. it's easier to deal with the crap from one person instead of five, 2. it's more plausible to completely let your hair (and guard) down in front of that someone special than to maintain a perfect image in front of friends who are not obliged to deal with your flaws. Yes that's it. So, people get lazy. But of course this is not a solid truth. Such a theory may not work if: 1. a dating party feels lonely when his/her other half isn't around, 2. a dating party still feels the need to be in the IN crowd and be regarded as the ever cool person everyone has to invite to their parties. Most people I know adhere to this category. Maybe I am one of the rare ones who follow the theory. Or maybe it's just because of my slightly moody and unpredictable personality? In any case, I am digressing. Back to my point, I am spending Valentine's Day on my own. But I will not be alone. (If bitterness is detected, it's just your imagination).