posted Saturday, Jun 24 7:52 pm

I drink too much coffee, black with no sugar. It calms me down. I think for me, coffee is like a security blanket. When I wake up in the morning, the first 'food' I crave is coffee. When I'm sleepy, I need coffee. When I'm cold, I want a cup of hot coffee. When I feel angry/mad/sad/frustrated, I need a cake...and coffee. You get the point. So then people keep telling me, "too much coffee is bad for you!" and being a body-conscious health freak, you'd think I'll set my mind to banishing this bad habit, to at least cut down my consumption from 3-5 cups a day to just 1-2. But nooooo. Instead, I drink more. The concomitant problem that accompanies this is carbohydrate consumption. With more coffee, I crave sweet stuff to complement the bitterness of the coffee. This means more cakes/pastries/chocolates etc. Bad for me. So consciously, I control myself.

So I try to analyse what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm stressed out that I use coffee the way some people use cigarrettes - as a form of mind-clearing substance; an aid to restore balance in an unclear mind. But why the hell would I be stressed out? Can't pinpoint to a particular reason or reasons for it. Sometimes I think it's general boredom - the distant relative of mid-life crisis. I'm too young to feel this way! But I do. Why???

Because of this, I keep myself as busy as possible, cos' activities make me happy; makes me feel productive, like I'm living my life to the fullest. But I know ultimately it makes me a little bit of an escapist. But at this point, I'm really not in the mood to overanalyse and be all dramatic about stuff.

Just take it easy, live happy. Drink more coffee.