note(s) to self

posted Tuesday, Feb 28 8:16 am

I recently realised that I've been giving myself way too many 'note to self'. Here are some instances:

-Went to the office today to meet the HR personnel, and asked the receptionist to inform her while I waited. Smiled to a couple of the office girls but did not introduce myself. Note to self: must take the initiative to be friendly to office girls to ensure survival at the workplace.

-HR personnel was mildly incompetent, missing out blanks, not following instructions, missing out essential pages etc etc. I was rather annoyed and would have rolled my eyes. But...note to self: learn to be tolerant and patient towards idiosyncracies. Need this in the working world.

-Was at my make up class yesterday, (we were learning the right way to achieve flawless complexion using foundation), and I accidentally scraped too much foundation that I eventually had to throw out. The result: wastage and an ugly and unecessary scrape mark on my otherwise close to perfect pallete. Note to self: please be gentle on all make up products next time. Such a clumsy oaf! (And I couldn't stop thinking about this matter for the next couple of hours. Okay, more than just a couple.)

-Mom, aunt and I were talking about cars and how I was going to commute to work, and I complained about how my sister's car is unsuitable for my personality. I wasn't very tactful when I said this. Aunt said I should be grateful to have a car to drive. Agreed. Note to self: I should be more tactful when expressing myself to avoid sounding like an arrogant, unappreciative, spoiled bitch.

-A couple of days ago, at my second interview, I babbled on and on about my work experience, when asked to list some of my experiences. And due to a combination of nerves and lack of preparation in my head, I spoke too fast and was semi-incoherent. I sounded less eloquent than I was capable of. Note to self: learn to speak calmly and plan everything in my head before I spit them out like verbal diarrhoea. Makes better impression this way. Because of this, I gave my performance a 6.8/10 instead of 8.5.

-This afternoon, I thought about my tendencies to blame myself for imperfections in the things I do or say, and wondered if I have a psychological problem. Mom says I am a perfectionist, and that's why I'm like this. But I truly believe that there's no perfection in this world. Only an attempt to be not as flawed as we could otherwise be; but not the ability to achieve perfection. Note to self: ask b if such relentless pressure placed on self to be as good as I can be is pathological.

There you have it. The note(s) to self I can remember. Now, note to self: try to be more forgiving of self and not fret over little things like the accidental dog ears made on worksheets and books...