lazy friday

posted Friday, May 19 2:27 am

TGIF indeed. It's been a pretty busy week - a pretty busy 2 weeks in fact. What with all the client appointment (aka entertaining) that had to be done. I've been in and out of the office this whole time, trying to manage both client-servicing and administrative matters at once. All that without having to stay for overtime. So I'm glad Friday's finally here. Frankly, I feel rather unmotivated to work (even though I've been administratively productive). Which is why I'm here "scribbling" on my much neglected blog at 3.14pm in the afternoon. Really looking forward to the weekend when I can have a more relaxing time just doing my own thing and spending a little quality time with my loved ones. Especially him of course. :)

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had stayed behind in Vancouver upon graduation. Would I still be actively competing? Would I have a good job I can fall back on? Would I be happy? Would I have someone I truly care about and could dote on? Isn't it strange, what life has in store for one? To think I was so resistant about coming back to Singapore and leaving my life in Vancouver behind. I was happy back then. Life was good indeed. But often there were times when my life was just "okay"; where everyday I wake up to each day feeling a lack of enthusiasm - going about each day with a neutral mode. It's not a bad feeling. But there was no real joy, no enthusiasm, no fire. And I didn't like that.

Now I almost always wake up happy; facing each day with renewed enthusiasm, even on the toughest, most dreary days. No doubt I feel bored/frustrated/angry/sad/upset/depressed sometimes. But the feeling usually won't last as they would often be overwhelmed by the inherent joy I feel inside. My life feels fulfilled. And I am happy and completely satisfied.

I truly hope such a feeling stays with me. It'll signal trouble once I feel that my life is at a standstill, and I start waking up to a mundane routine - living life like a zombie. Not looking forward to such a possibility. But I'm not too worriedm for I know the joy inside me won't allow it.

TGIF. 2.5 hours to the weekend. Yay!