love hurts

posted Wednesday, Apr 5 2:05 pm

Cliched but true, love does hurt. Why you may ask. Love is supposed to be this wondrous, inexplicable, magical phenomenon that leaves one happy beyond logical understanding. Yet it does bring hurt and pain. The most amazing thing about it, you seek this pain. It's something that one inflicts upon oneself when love comes knocking on the door. If the brain were the dominant organ, it would warn one to stay away, for it's absolutely illogical to voluntarily inflict pain on yourself, unless you're a sadomasochist. But love doesn't work this way.

Besides, love brings a special kind of pain. It's bittersweet. And the pain comes from sacrifice. The sacrifices you have to make when you cease to think only for yourself. The pain comes from uncertainty. The uncertainties love may bring - the inability to envision a future beyond what you have. For planning sometimes spoils everything. Melodramatic? A little I suppose. But being in a contradictory situation as such where you are torn between the desire to seek out some certainty of a future and the willingness to just enjoy the moment of happiness, is what brings the pain.

But the pain is good. It's good because then you know that you are truly human. That you are vulnerable, fallible, and emotional. It's good because you stop questioning and start feeling. It's good because just like the true spirit of giving, you stop wondering what you'll get in return.

No doubt, you may fall. The more joy you experience from loving someone, the more painful it'll be when you know you've lost it forever. So it's something to be prepared for. It's not exactly being pessimistic. Just realistic. Although such understanding of the possible failure will not decrease the pain you'll feel when you fall out of love, at least you'll be able to attain some kind of peace once the initial hurt subsides.

Embrace the love. Embrace the joy and happiness that love brings. But most of all, embrace the pain. Hurt a little, grow a little.

People keep telling me that at my age, I should be looking for someone whom I see as a potential life partner. But isn't it stressful, when this should be a prerequisite to fall in love? Then it loses the chemistry. Rather, it's like you're buying a pair of good shoes. You must like the design, and feel comfortable wearing them. And they must also be worth the money you'll be spending on them etc etc. I've tried this method. And the formula didn't work for me.

I'm not saying that the future isn't important. But I try to make things easier for myself. My criteria: I have to be happy. Happiness and contentment seem simple enough goals to achieve in life. But they are actually the most difficult. Especially if you're looking at consistent happiness and contentment. So for now, I'm just looking to be happy. Be it for a week, a month or a year, most importantly, I must be happy. And I am.

So sometimes I'm in pain. But I'm happily in pain. And no, I'm no sadomasochist.