the taming of the shrew

posted Thursday, Jun 1 8:52 pm

My dad used to say that I have a very bad temper and that anyone who could stand my temper must be a really patient person. I told him, "I got it from you." And yes, I admit that my temper was not something I was proud of. Aside from the tendency to flare up easily, there's also the intolerance, the impatience, the willfulness. All in this otherwise joyful package. Thanks (and no thanks) to such traits, I gravitated towards more easygoing people who could accept such flaws in my personality. Their tolerance only spoiled me further. Even bored me sometimes. Though this cannot be applied to all cases. And thus I grew up thinking that this is the way I'm always going to be - bad tempered, spoiled, and unreasonable. What a horrible combination!

It was only recently I realised that I am actually capable of being the complete opposite of how I used to be. (Maybe I wasn't actually as bad as I thought I was). But I'm actually quite amazed at myself for how different I reacted at some situations compared to the way I did before, under similar circumstances. Krrrrazzyyy. As I would put it. So I came to the conclusion that it all boils down to an action-reaction factor. It's not so much what kind of personality type you are and how easygoing you are. The more important thing is how you react towards certain people and what kind of traits they bring out in you. No doubt, some traits are inherent, and there's very little one can do to change them. But these traits translate differently depending on one's interaction with others.

Now the question is, how consistent can you be? Say you're patient now, how long can you be patient for? Also, in the course of taking all things in your stride; looking at all things from a positive point of view, are you suppressing any of the negativity deep down inside? Because if you are, then it's just a volcano waiting to erupt. If I were to look within myself, I could sincerely say that the change is not forced. There's very little negativity that I keep with me, even if they are remnants of things that have made me very very upset. I attribute it to two things: 1. I'm a generally positive person, my motto being: you can choose to be happy or sad. I choose to be happy. 2. I have a selectively poor memory; refusing to remember things that make me upset. Blocking them all out. Scary says some. Effective, I say. (Remember Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). =)

Anyway, I'm happy. It's been helping me I'd say - both in terms of personal and my corporate lives. Corporate wise, the crude term for it is being thick-skinned. Ie. Not easily offended by things that people say, which for some sensitive individuals, can totally be taken the wrong way. Easygoing baby. Works for me.

So dad, I think I got it from mom, not you. ;)